Strippers names – so bad they’re good

Apr 29,2012

Anyone with a sense of humour can appreciate the comedic value of a good pun. And by a good pun, we mean a bad pun. If you want to go to the Mecca of crappy sexual puns, puns that possess the subtlety of a sledgehammer, puns that are so bad they’re good, look no further than your local strip club. Some strippers’ names are amazing – in an awful, woeful, but funny kind of way.

There are a select few erotic dancers whose monikers are examples of clever wordplay. We can’t think of any at the moment, but “George Bushy” comes close. Most names are tried and true clichés – often some sort of pun on sweet foods (Candy Cox, Sugar Lumps Toffee Teaze, etc etc).

But then there are those incredible stripper names that scoff at double entendres and suggestive language, and go straight for the throat, so to speak. These are strippers who take less inspiration from Dita von Teese, and more from adult movie star Cherry Poppens.

Some go for strippers’ names that aim to entice men with fantasies that will never come true (“Fellatia”), while others decide to focus attention on their most prized assets (“Mandy Melons”). A few women try on a bit of irony for size (“Chastity”), and others employ the method of using flowers or spices to create an alluring name, but fall well short of the mark. “Cindee Sugarbush” does not have the same charm as “Jasmine Rose”. And “Coco Cumquat”? That’s just ridiculous.