Whether it be the dreamy dancer in the photo you selected got replaced by with someone you did not ask for (and never would) or maybe the girl did not show up at all? Maybe the busty babe who has been hired to waitress and host the event turns out to be a real ball breaker and doesn’t want to get involved with anything but her mobile phone?

This can cause much embarrassment for the best man when his mates start pointing the finger at the organiser and demand their money back! Planning a bucks show can be tedious, time consuming and difficult to do during work hours.

There is just one simple rule to follow to avoid any mishaps. Ask your mates for a referral! There are not many reputable agencies that live up to their guarantee. Don’t go for the biggest company just because that’s all you know. Don’t go for the cheapest company because you literally ‘get what you pay for’. And, don’t leave things to the last minute because there’s a good chance the girl you wanted has been booked already.

Boobtique have done the hard work for you and we pride ourselves at keeping the team professional and our business honest. Our team is small because we only hire the best strippers and topless waitresses Adelaide has to offer. Our team is made up of the girls YOU tell us to keep!

Boobtique will answer the questions you have not asked yet when making a booking. We’ve done this 1000 times over so we will tell you exactly what you need to know to make sure your bucks night runs smoothly.

Sure things can still go wrong but we are the only agency who caters for contingencies by getting an overflow of preferred entertainer names when you book. That way, whatever the worse case scenario is, you will still get that gorgeous girl you asked for and impress your mates.

..and make sure you give feedback whether it be good or bad so we can improve our service for the next group that makes a booking.

 

Here’s a fact about most strippers: they’ve heard it all before. There’s not much you can say that can shock or offend them, because they’re used to answering the most bizarre questions and being hit on with the lamest and dirtiest pick-up lines.

Perhaps one of the most common questions strippers are asked is: do you wanna do it? This leads us to our first fun fact.

1. Strippers won’t sleep with you. Forget what you’ve seen on those video websites, there will be no such stripper-turned whatever fantasy. You shouldn’t offer strippers money to have sex with you. That’s what prostitutes are for. Begging doesn’t work either, but that’s fine. Our strippers are there to get naked and dance sensually and they do a damn fine job of it.

1. A lap dance is a lap dance. It can be very funny or very naughty but it won’t lead to anything else, no matter how lovingly you gaze into her eyes. Don’t worry, our strippers can give killer lap dances that are sure you give you a rise – and that’s probably all you’ll be able to take.

1. Strippers have other stuff going on. Strippers aren’t strippers 24-7, and that’s a great thing. It makes them more interesting and it usually means they’re more self-confident. Our strippers enjoy what they do but they also have many other interests.

Hopefully this gives you a bit of an insight into the world of stripping. It’s all common sense really. All you really need to know is that if you book our strippers and don’t act like a complete lout (a drunken buffoon is acceptable), you’ll have a ripping good time.

The strip dancing is usually performed by the stripper – the hired entertainer who gets her kit off and gives lap dances in a seductive, sexy manner. On occasion, strip dancing will be performed by a male guest of a buck’s party, usually towards the end of the night and often lacking the technique of his female counterpart. Instead of a lap dance, the male will often perform the classic move known as the nudie run.

Buck’s night revellers primarily perform drunk dancing after consuming multiple ales. Some of the dance moves often seen at buck’s nights include:

The shopping trolley

 This move simulates the action of putting groceries in a shopping trolley while walking down the shopping aisle. You alternate between the left and right side of the aisle, and you only pick items off the one shelf level. So you end up with a shopping trolley full of condiments, but nothing else.

 Roll the dice

 This is pretty self-explanatory. You move at least one of your hands as if you are rolling dice. It’s quite awkward and sort of looks like another hand action that you may have performed quite a bit as a 15-year-old.

The running man

 This is a classic dance move, even if it hasn’t been cool for more than a decade. This is the move made famous by Vanilla Ice, which basically involves running on the spot in an exaggerated sort of hopping motion.  It might be passé but it can look pretty damn impressive if you pull it off.

Here are some best man speech dos and don’ts:

Don’t get plastered. Yes, we know a wedding usually means free drinks (and let’s face it, that’s the main reason some guests attend), and it almost seems un-Australian not to overindulge on free grog, but if you must get smashed, hold off until after your speech. No one wants to see a half-cut best man with several of his buttons undone stammering incoherently and leering at the bride’s sister. Sure, have a few ales beforehand to calm the nerves, then you can empty the bar once the speech is over

.

Don’t steal the show. The best man’s speech is not a platform to launch a career as a stand-up comedian. You’ll just get eye-rolls and impatient shuffling. Say a few jokes, toast the groom and flatter the bridesmaids, even if their dresses do look hideous. Then sit the hell down. No one actually likes listening to speeches!

Don’t mention the buck’s night. The bride’s mother probably thinks the boys got together for a few quiet drinks around a campfire. Don’t shatter her idealised perception of the groom by regaling guests with the infamous jelly wrestling story. What happens on the buck’s night bloody well stays there.

1. How will the prank affect your friendship with the groom?

2. Will the groom have his eyebrows back by the wedding date?

If you’ve answered both questions with: “Who cares, it’s so freakin’ worth it”, then you might want to run the idea past someone more sensible, just to be sure your prank is a) actually funny, and b) not likely to result in a custodial sentence for you or the groom.

The key to the success of any buck’s night prank is to get the groom off his chops. Once he is suitably plastered, you and your mates can strip his clothes off and get him into a mankini, and do what you will with him.

Another classic prank is to wait until the buck is passed out and “groom the groom” so to speak.

Although the aim of the bucks night prank is to humiliate the groom, we recommend stopping short of brutality. That means maybe think twice about the tarring and feathering prank, which in fact used to be a form of medieval retribution. Maybe just decorate him a little…

Our parting tip – if you’re hoping to continue to enjoy the occasional boys’ night out with the groom, it’s probably not a good idea to make a lifelong enemy of the bride by pulling a bucks night prank that ruins the wedding day!

We won’t be giving any such advice here, but for comic relief, we’ve given you a sample of pick-up lines so bad they are likely to fail in a brothel.

-       If you were a door I’d slam you all night.

-       I smell that you’re in season. Want to breed?

-       How about you and me make a human sandwich?

-       I like every bone in your body, especially mine.

-       Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only “10” I see

-       I’ve got the F-C-K. All I need is U

-       I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock.

We don’t recommend you test these out on our Adelaide topless waitresses – perhaps try something a bit more creative. But after your eighth beer, we reckon the most creative you’ll get is yelling “Are those things real?” Are we right, or are we right?

 At Boobtique we are very proud of our strippers. We think they’re the finest strippers in Adelaide, and we think they should be treated with the utmost respect when taking their clothes off and licking whipped cream off each other. But seriously folks, there are some things you need to think about when hiring adult entertainment. Sure, ogle and drool as much as you like, flirt like you were Frank Sinatra, but if you get too gropey, you could ruin the night for everyone, and your mates will be mighty peeved!

Never, under any circumstances, should you film a stripper’s performance. Any digital recording can reach thousands of people within seconds, thanks to social media. They may be strippers by night, but by day they might be receptionists, salespeople or nursing students (cue hot nurse fantasy). Having their boobs plastered all over the net can destroy their career aspirations. Think about it: how would you fare if your boss stumbled across a video of you swinging a bra like a lasso and motor-boating a stripper?

Another thing to remember: strippers aren’t prostitutes. Some men may fail to grasp this distinction when watching a stripper perform, but if you want a hooker, then hire a hooker. Some men seem to think they’ve suddenly turned into George Clooney when in the presence of a stripper. Yes, our strippers are very friendly, but that doesn’t mean they want to sleep with you. So next time you’re viewing some live adult entertainment, we hope you enjoy the strippers in all their wet, naked, gyrating glory – just don’t pinch their arses as they walk past.

There are a select few erotic dancers whose monikers are examples of clever wordplay. We can’t think of any at the moment, but “George Bushy” comes close. Most names are tried and true clichés – often some sort of pun on sweet foods (Candy Cox, Sugar Lumps Toffee Teaze, etc etc).

But then there are those incredible stripper names that scoff at double entendres and suggestive language, and go straight for the throat, so to speak. These are strippers who take less inspiration from Dita von Teese, and more from adult movie star Cherry Poppens.

Some go for strippers’ names that aim to entice men with fantasies that will never come true (“Fellatia”), while others decide to focus attention on their most prized assets (“Mandy Melons”). A few women try on a bit of irony for size (“Chastity”), and others employ the method of using flowers or spices to create an alluring name, but fall well short of the mark. “Cindee Sugarbush” does not have the same charm as “Jasmine Rose”. And “Coco Cumquat”? That’s just ridiculous.

Idea 1:

Start with a round of golf. This is a great way to get all the guys together for a hit and a giggle. It’s also an early opportunity to consume some frothies, but don’t overdo it if you want to be part of the shenanigans later on.

Idea 2:

Have the buck’s night at a lawn bowls venue. How gentlemanly, I hear you say. Well, yes and no. Many a depraved buck’s night has taken place on a lawn bowls green. You just need to find a club which has a president who isn’t a killjoy and will let you hire it for a night. Crank up the barbie, get some topless waitresses along and keep the drinks flowing – you’ll be surprised how much fun lawn bowls can be!

Idea 3:

Go on a pub crawl. It can be a great way to end the bucks night. Adelaide has plenty of pubs that are open till the wee hours. It might be an idea to call the venues beforehand and let them know that a throng of drunks group of gentlemen are planning to attend.

Parting tip: before you begin partying, write your address on a piece of paper – you and the cab driver you’ll need later might be glad you did.

2. We’ll wear heels anywhere. The grocery store, camping trips,… everywhere.

3. We’re as hairless as a fresh baby bird.

4. We will be late to just about everything because we have these ridiculously high appearance standards for ourselves (… and we’re notorious procrastinators).

5. We’re friends with people you won’t meet in a million fucking years. And yes, they just text us right now, and no, we’re probably not going to ignore them.

6. Everything about our appearance is either hellp on by an adhesive, implanted or chemically applied.

7. We want you to buy us expensive goodies so we can brag to our stripper friends about it.

8. If you don’t like us dancing, you better be prepared to support our lifestyle. Otherwise, we don’t want to hear your bitching.

9. We’re kind of manipulative, even if we’re not trying to be.

10. We are 99% likely to be heavily tattooed and peirced.